A while back I wrote a few blogs about senior singles, because I find it intriguing to track the differences between dating then, so to speak (i.e. first time round, young and looking for a partner in life), and dating now. I’m on a free website with very active blogs, quizzes and forums – a kind of Facebook for singles. It is international and for all ages but the forums are dominated by the senior singles. Perfect.

These are not blogs about scammers, who of course mine the websites assiduously and constantly. Some are obvious to the meanest intelligence (and yet still have their successes. Go figure) and some are more subtle. In a nutshell, if they ask or offer their phone number / email address / skype address / or (eek!) money in the first exchange of messages, back away. Fast.  If it takes a few more messages before the subject of money comes up, run, they’re good. It’s frighteningly easy to set up a false profile, I did myself when I started (for information only), and I’m pulling together another blog on that subject. But this isn’t that blog.

These blogs are about singles with other agendas. Some of them are very wily indeed, with no intention whatsoever of settling down. Well, maybe if a mark with a high income and a low IQ drifted by, they’d snap him or her up, but right here, right now, being between 50 and death, healthy, active and with a reasonable income, is to have the world as their oyster and they the pearl, and they enjoy themselves very much indeed.

I pulled together a profile of male types (link here) and have been idly, in free moments, trying to pull together a companion blog of female types.  Perhaps I’m too close to the trees to see the wood, because it proved impossible. Some of them are just, well, nuts. But anyway, here are a few types, mainly thanks to the bloke I got to know through the website, who has been on there a while, is a bit of a professional himself, and gets messages All The Time.

Have to start with myself, I am definitely a professional single.

• The Onlooker – intrigued by what everyone else is up to, quick to give her opinion, coy about her own agenda.  Most Onlookers put their status as ‘in a relationship’ or ‘not available’. In their bio they say things like Not looking Not looking Not looking although some opt for putting their age as 99 and insist they are looking for older men only.  Onlookers can be drawn into public flirtation and are deft and quite witty.  They give advice, and it is usually worth reading.
• The Spiritual Soul – searching for love, but not just on the coarse physical plane. She seeks a soulmate, and wanders along the beaches (they nearly all live on beaches) thinking beautiful thoughts which she turns into poetry. She has frequent affairs which end when the potential soulmate would rather turn on the telly or go out for a pint than read yet another poem, and she realizes sadly that he is too of the earth to be The One.  He is hustled out the door, immortalized in a poignant and regretful poem, and then forgotten.
• The Cynic – hardly counts as a single because she never, ever meets anyone. She complains there are no real men left, certainly none in her locality, and deletes private messages instantly because all messages are ipso facto from scammers. She makes disparaging comments in the public forums and brings everyone else down.
• The Upgrader describes herself as single, but coyly admits in her first or second private message that she is in fact in a relationship / marriage but it isn’t working out.
• The Pragmatist is perhaps the most honest of all. She wants a better life for herself, preferably marriage, and is offering good company and that she will look after her man. Most of them are in poorer countries and with limited English but to judge by the blogs, the men who accept that offer and import a Pragmatist are pleased enough. However, many who look like Pragmatists are of course scammers. It is a very fine line to define. Be warned, too, gents, that genuine Pragmatists often turn fairly promptly into Upgraders.
• The Nut – phew, how to define a nut? She starts off seeming sensible and even charming but scratch the surface and the lunacy bubbles up. Some are sensible in the mornings, wildly erratic in the evenings. Some become wildly demanding, attack other women on the forums, publicly insult men who have backed away, take the mildest remark as either a deadly insult or a heartfelt declaration, and appear in every shape and form. There are an awful lot of them and they get weirder and weirder until the website managers delete their profiles.

I know it isn’t a complete list but it will do as your starter pack. There’ll be updates. Maybe. Some of these types have started to creep into the backgrounds of my books, which are whodunits set in the age-group. Now you know how they get there! (with thanks also for research contributed by Alex)