Apologies to anyone who might have been waiting for updates on the siesta van because I’m not being particularly forthcoming or speedy – in reality as much as in reporting, although a fair amount has been slowly achieved. It is definitely now a weekend van (although, with back and side doors open to entice breezes, fantastic for siestas).

The van did attain its MOT, 3rd try, and I shan’t go into the perils of buying from a skelm (rascal) because you wouldn’t be that stupid. Suffice it to say the previous MOT must have been an under-the-counter job because some issues had definitely not developed in a year. Sorted now, fully roadworthy (two minor advisories) and for buyers of vans in future, the good news is that all MOTs are now filmed, so getting that certificate without even presenting the vehicle is no longer possible. Just to give one example, the passenger seat was not only illegal for the van, but frighteningly unsafely mounted … the two back seats have gone too. They somehow passed without comment in the first test, but it seemed too risky to try them again in the second, and they took up a lot of room considering I had no intention of ever carrying multiple passengers.

It was an expensive business, pretty much doubling that low, low, purchase price, plus now having that required legal bench seat binned my planned design. Back to the drawing board, but every layout was going to cost a fortune. Hmm. A 20 year old van which I probably couldn’t keep anyway? Instead the plan became, look at what you have, not only the van itself but generally on hand: repurpose: upcycle. I also made the decision to convert it to what I wanted, not what the DVLA would like, or even a potential future buyer, who might hate all the expensive decisions I generously made on their behalf. The whole point of a van, after all, versus a custom-built motorhome, is to fine-tune it to what works for you, and only fix what doesn’t.

What I have, then – a full-size double bed which is built in, half a metre in from the back doors (because of that long-gone hoist) taking up most of the floor space lengthways and, at 160cm wide, pretty much filling the 170cm available. It is hinged, so can be lifted (by a gorilla, or two people) and strapped to the side out of the way, if the van is needed for cargo. Well, work with that. There’s a ton of space underneath, even with the huge spare tyre and Kim’s bed (he’s a nervous dog, and feels safest under the bed. Carina prefers sleeping on the middle of the bed). The 10cm gap is just right for the folding lounger which I had inherited with the ‘new’, tiny, house and didn’t really want or need. The folded lounger has also proved itself a handy height and length to pile stuff on top, something I am trying to nip in the bud.

The van urgently needed some quick-access storage and a bit of workspace. I already had a tiny computer desk, a tatty bedside cabinet, a lightweight slim table, and 8 square baskets (5 of them dating back to my original 2017 van). 3 fit under the edge of the bed (leaving a generous gap for Kim to get in and out), 4 in the shelves of the computer desk. One is tucked next to the sliding door as a temporary lined bin, and may stay there, it works. (Like every other camper, I keep a bigger rubbish bag tied outside). The desk, cabinet, and table were sanded down and painted in the same soft neutral grey as the carpeted sides. The first two are now securely wall-hung on lift-off brackets, and the hideously inconveniently-placed leisure battery could be moved, without rewiring, to fit snugly out of the way under the smaller unit. (The leisure battery runs the TV and the built-in lights, I haven’t asked it to keep the cooler-box fridge going overnight, I have no idea how old / enfeebled, or indeed how powerful, it is.)

That wasted space inside the backdoors has become my favourite spot in the van: a baby mattress turned it into turned it into an ideal place to sit with morning coffee admiring the view. A back porch is not usually incorporated into a van design, the luckiest repurpose of all! Since this photo I have cut up and upholstered an old foam mattress to make a rather more conventional seat, as my visiting granddaughter occasionally needs the cot mattress.

The lightweight (3 kg) slim table has become the hardest-working item in the van – overnight it clips into lift-off brackets on the bed frame, becoming an eccentric headboard with its 2 little drawers ideal for phone and torch, current book, and stopping my pillows going AWOL into the back porch. During the day it either moves outside as an al fresco table for meals, or inside as a laptop desk, or even as extended ‘kitchen’ workspace. I took the van away for a trial weekend to nearby Orgiva to escape a noisy fiesta in my village and was thrilled to find every change made so far has made it extremely user-friendly. Quirky, granted, but the dogs love it and it was unexpectedly comfortable. Even my eccentric ‘en suite loo’ worked out perfectly overnight and of course at a campsite loos, showers, sinks for washing up, and even washing machines, are all included. I’d cobbled together hasty blinds for the first weekend at Trevelez and this time experimented a bit more – some had magnets, some had plastic suckers. The very cheap windshield shades should be avoided, by the way, they start to disintegrate as soon as they are cut. Aluminium bubble-wrap, especially the thermal stuff, lined with fabric for internal appeal, was the most successful, although it is too thick for the magnets so the inside fabric has to be large enough to cover the metal window frames. I’ll stick with suckers going forward, although the magnets are really useful for quick-fix fly / shade netting.

The ceiling has now had its first lot of insulation, professional aluminium-backed stuff bought by the roll from Amazon. I’m planning to add more recycled ceramic foam stuffing (I tried for the recycled plastic bottle stuff, surprisingly difficult to source in Spain) before fitting ceiling panels. All the little nooks and crannies also have to be stuffed – the first 5m roll was delivered yesterday, because, unfortunately, best will in the world, repurposing and upcycling can only go so far, some stuff does have to be bought. The first trial batch of 4-way-stretch carpeting has just arrived, as I was typing this, because things like the wheel and ceiling arches have still to be insulated and carpeted. (Not sure yet about the actual ceiling panels, and risking turning the whole space into a furry grey womb, hence only a trial pack). The van has, of course, metal reinforcing struts running round the sides at around head level and I went a little overboard on magnetic racks, shelves, knife holders, kitchen roll holders, battery-operated lights, and rechargeable USB lights. (There are lights built in, and running off the leisure battery, but I like to read at night and now have 3 different sources of light, nice.) There’s therefore no way I’m covering those handy struts but they will be stuffed with insulation and, because they are shabby and a bit battle-scarred, repainted. Not grey. I have a soft green metal paint in the storeroom already (re-use, re-cycle, re-purpose). There’s a lot of interior decorating to do, aligning and coordinating some very random items in very random colours.

The next expense will be gas struts for the bed, so that I can get to that massive additional storage without leopard-crawling under there, or having to find someone to help lift the bed. All this of course means I am heavily reliant on the friend Nick who did most of the work on my house refurb some years back and has remained worth his weight in gold and coffee ever since for maintenance and upgrades and, now, helping with van conversion. I dream up what I want, he tells me it won’t work, sometimes he’s right and I have to rethink: as in 2017 with the Casa Excéntrico, as in 2025 getting sorted in PP4, as now. He doesn’t approve of the van because there’s no chance in hell of that DVLA re-classification on my revised budget-driven layout, but he’s prevented some expensive mistakes. We’re arguing about the gas struts. A lot of the planning is designed to keep the van dual-purpose: the bed lifting up, the lift-out cabinets, even the removable magnetic fittings. I’m not intending to move house again but the van was priceless for the last move, and who knows when it may have to temporarily revert to hauling around furniture and boxes? It can.

Another expense I’m debating is more of a luxury, a power-pack to run the cooler-box fridge, laptop, electric kettle, and keep all the rechargeables recharged, so I can occasionally skip having to go overnight to a campsite. There’s a bewildering variety on offer, some available with mobile solar panels so one can park in any shade available, but have the panels in the sun. Research is ongoing.

Tick-tock as the extremely noisy annual Moros v Cristianos fiesta happens mid June and the dogs have to be removed from all the muskets, cannons, and fireworks for 3 to 4 days.

Such fun!